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100 Yo Mama Jokes

Big List of Yo Mama Jokes

1: Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”

2: Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!

3: Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,”DING!”

4: Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

5: Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, “What ya doin ?” She said, “Buying luggage.”

6: Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

7: Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

8: Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

9: Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn’t help!

10: Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

11: Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

12: Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

13: Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

14: Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

15: Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

16: Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

17: Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

18: Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

19: Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

20: Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

21: Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.

22: Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”

23: Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”

24: Yo mama so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

25: Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

26: Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

27: Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

28: Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

29: Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”

30: Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”

31: Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

32: Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

33: Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

34: Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!

35: Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

36: Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

37: Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

38: Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

39: Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

40: Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

41: Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

42: Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

43: Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

44: Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

45: Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

46: Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

47: Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.

48: Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar.

49: Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

50: Yo mama’s glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

51: Yo mama’s glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

52: Yo mama house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

53: Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

54: Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

55: Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight!

56: Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

57: Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!

58: Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

59: Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

60: Yo mama is missing a finger and can’t count past nine.

61: Yo mama middle name is Rambo.

62: Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn’t even serve Happy Meals.

63: Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

64: Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

65: Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

66: Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

67: Yo mama so lazy she’s got a remote control just to operate her remote!

68: Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

69: Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.

70: Yo mama head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

71: Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, “You ain’t gonna puch me round no more.”

72: Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

73: Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo”

74: Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

75: Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

76: Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

77: Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

78: Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

79: Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

80: Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”

81: Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”

82: Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

83: Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

84: Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

85: Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear “Caution! Wide Turn”

86: Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time, please”

87: Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don’t do livestock.

88: Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code!

89: Yo mama so fat she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagon!

90: Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

91: Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

92: Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago

93: Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

94: Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

95: Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

96: Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

97: Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

98: Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

99: Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

100: Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

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