29 Hilarious Money Jokes That Will Make You Laugh All Day

29 Hilarious Money Jokes That Will Make You Laugh All Day
  1. Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
  2. I’m so broke, that I can’t even afford to pay attention.
  3. I’m not a hoarder, I’m a savings enthusiast.
  4. The best things in life are free… and expensive.
  5. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream. And that’s pretty much the same thing.
  6. Money talks…but all mine ever says is goodbye.
  7. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
  8. “My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.”- Errol Flynn
  9. “I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” – Douglas Adams
  10. “Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”- Bill Vaughan
  11. Where do fish keep their money? In a river-bank!
  12. I tried to catch some fog earlier. Mistakenly, I caught a wallet instead. It’s all right though; the owner gave me a tenner for my trouble.
  13. How do you know if a banknote is fake? Try to spend it.
  14. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the street… and maybe snag a dollar bill or two!
  15. How much does it cost an ant to live in luxury? A fortune!
  16. I was going to give my best friend 2 tickets to my concert, but then I realized that would be like giving him 2 dollars.
  17. My aunt always asks me, “When are you going to get a real job?” I’m pretty sure she means one that pays in actual currency and not just compliments.
  18. My husband is so tight with money that he squeezes every penny until it screams!
  19. My bank called and said I need to come in and talk to them about my account. I think they want to charge me for being overdrawn!
  20. I don’t care about money, but it keeps me from being homeless!
  21. I’m not a gold digger, but I’ll dig for gold any day.
  22. How do you make a hasty buck? Sell your grandma’s dentures on eBay!
  23. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
  24. How does a rabbi make money? By selling holy water by the river!
  25. Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry.
  26. What’s the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
  27. The amateur thief says, “Give me all your money!”
  28. The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
  29. What is money called in space? Star bucks

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