Pun-Tastic Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Groan 👋

How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!'

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Both of my parents have brown eyes, so I wasn't too surprised when my girlfriend asked me where I got my blue eyes from. I'm not 100% certain, but I think they belong to the hitchhiker chained in the basement.

Why do bananas wear sunscreen? Because they peel.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.

My son was playing a Zelda game and I told him it was more effective to lose health during the summer and winter seasons. Confused, he asked why? I said, that way you don't take any Fall damage.

What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? Bubble 07.

Marylanders: Do you know how to tell the difference between male and female Chesapeake blue crabs ? The female will tell you how to eat her.

What happens when a frogs car dies? He needs a jump. If that doesn't work he has to get it toad.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, houses can't jump.

Why couldn’t the lifeguard at the beach save the hippie? He was too far out

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up.'

Wife: Suppose you hit jackpot of 1 million dollars in a lottery... Wife: Suppose you hit jackpot of 1 million dollars in a lottery and the same day, someone kidnaps me and demands ransom of 1 million dollars. What will you do? Husband: I doubt if I can hit two jackpots in one day!

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5,000 miles.

What did one hat say to the other? You go on ahead.